Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need Author: Emerson Eggerichs | Language: English | ISBN:
B00C5QA2C8 | Format: PDF
Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need Description
Children need love. Parents need respect.
It is as simple and complex as that!
When frustrated with an unresponsive child, a parent doesn’t declare, “You don’t love me.” Instead the parent asserts, “You are being disrespectful right now.” A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts. When upset a child does not whine, “You don’t respect me.” Instead, a child pouts, “You don’t love me.” A child needs to feel loved, especially during disputes.
But here’s the rub: An unloved child (or teen) negatively reacts in a way that feels disrespectful to a parent. A disrespected parent negatively reacts in a way that feels unloving to the child. This dynamic gives birth to the FAMILY CRAZY CYCLE.
So how is one to break out of this cycle? Best-selling author Emerson Eggerichs has studied the family dynamic for more than 30 years, having his Ph.D. in Child and Family Ecology. As a senior pastor for nearly two decades, Eggerichs builds on a foundation of strong biblical principles, walking the reader through an entirely new way to approach the family dynamic. For instance, God reveals ways to defuse the craziness with our children from preschooler to teen, plus how to motivate them to obey and how to deal with them when they don’t. In the Bible, God has spoken specifically to parents on how to parent. This book is about that revelation.
- File Size: 1386 KB
- Print Length: 270 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0849948207
- Publisher: Thomas Nelson (November 5, 2013)
- Sold by: HarperCollins Christian Publishing
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00C5QA2C8
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,865 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #42
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting - #43
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships - #47
in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Family
- #42
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting - #43
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships - #47
in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Family
This is the third book in the Love & Respect series that I’ve read. I read the book Love & Respect for the first time back in 2007, then just a couple years ago I read The Language of Love & Respect, and now I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to review the parent’s version of the formula: Love & Respect in the Family. While the two former books which I’ve read were focused on the marriage relationship, this book is focused on the parent-child relationship.
Similar to the crazy cycle between marriage partners, parents and children also have a crazy cycle they can get stuck on: Without Love -> a Child Reacts ->Without Respect -> a Parent Reacts -> Without Love.
The first part of this book is about stopping the Family Crazy Cycle. One of the few things I think my ex-husband and I both did right in our marriage was to recognize and point out when a crazy cycle started spinning between us. Then we could slow down, recognize the problem for what it really was, and try to change our attitudes about the situation. We certainly didn’t do this every time a crazy cycle came up, but we did it often enough that it sticks out in my mind as something that worked when we used it. My hope is to get into a habit with my children of pointing out when we’re on a crazy cycle with each other as well. The last section of Part 1 talks about teaching the concept of the crazy cycle to your children (it recommends teaching this concept around age 6 or 7, but I’ll be starting sooner than that) so that both you and your children can recognize and point it out to each other if a crazy cycle is cranking.
Part 2 of the book switches the focus to the Family Energizing Cycle.
I am a huge Love & Respect fan. Dr. Emerson Eggerich's book for couples has helped me communicate with my husband and understand his point of view better. It also even helped me to put into words what I needed. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to see this concept of Love & Respect played out into the family dynamics of parenting.
The basic concept of Love & Respect was that women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. When a woman does not feel loved, she doesn't show respect, when a man doesn't feel respected, he does not show love- and then the crazy cycle begins in the spousal relationship.
For parenting, the roles are that the parents have the need to feel respected and the child has the need to feel loved. When one of these becomes lacking, the same crazy cycle begins. Most of the book is focused on how the parent can address their role in loving their children through the acronym GUIDES. They are the adult in the relationship, so much of the responsibility lies within the parent to correct a crazy cycle situation.
What I liked:
My favorite chapters were the 'pink and blue glasses' of parenting towards the end and the discipline chapter. I felt enlightened by how parenting can look so different between raising men and raising ladies. While I currently only have daughters, I found the insight into a mother/son relationship very helpful even as I interact with my nephew. I also loved getting ideas on how to encourage my husband to have a loving relationship with my daughters- and how he can help show them what a Godly man looks and acts like. The discipline chapter was helpful in that it reminded me of so many great foundations in parenting.
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