Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need Author: Visit Amazon's Emerson Eggerichs Page | Language: English | ISBN:
0849948207 | Format: PDF
Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need Description
About the Author
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, an internationally known expert on male-female relationships, presents the Love & Respect conference with his wife, Sarah, both live and by video to more than 50,000 people each year, including groups such as the NFL, PGA, and members of congress. With degrees from Wheaton College and Dubuque Seminary and a PhD from Michigan State, Emerson pastored Trinity Church in Lansing for 19 years. He and Sarah have been married since 1973 and have three children.
- Hardcover: 288 pages
- Publisher: Thomas Nelson (November 5, 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0849948207
- ISBN-13: 978-0849948206
- Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 1.2 inches
- Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
This is the third book in the Love & Respect series that I’ve read. I read the book Love & Respect for the first time back in 2007, then just a couple years ago I read The Language of Love & Respect, and now I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to review the parent’s version of the formula: Love & Respect in the Family. While the two former books which I’ve read were focused on the marriage relationship, this book is focused on the parent-child relationship.
Similar to the crazy cycle between marriage partners, parents and children also have a crazy cycle they can get stuck on: Without Love -> a Child Reacts ->Without Respect -> a Parent Reacts -> Without Love.
The first part of this book is about stopping the Family Crazy Cycle. One of the few things I think my ex-husband and I both did right in our marriage was to recognize and point out when a crazy cycle started spinning between us. Then we could slow down, recognize the problem for what it really was, and try to change our attitudes about the situation. We certainly didn’t do this every time a crazy cycle came up, but we did it often enough that it sticks out in my mind as something that worked when we used it. My hope is to get into a habit with my children of pointing out when we’re on a crazy cycle with each other as well. The last section of Part 1 talks about teaching the concept of the crazy cycle to your children (it recommends teaching this concept around age 6 or 7, but I’ll be starting sooner than that) so that both you and your children can recognize and point it out to each other if a crazy cycle is cranking.
Part 2 of the book switches the focus to the Family Energizing Cycle.
I am a huge Love & Respect fan. Dr. Emerson Eggerich's book for couples has helped me communicate with my husband and understand his point of view better. It also even helped me to put into words what I needed. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to see this concept of Love & Respect played out into the family dynamics of parenting.
The basic concept of Love & Respect was that women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. When a woman does not feel loved, she doesn't show respect, when a man doesn't feel respected, he does not show love- and then the crazy cycle begins in the spousal relationship.
For parenting, the roles are that the parents have the need to feel respected and the child has the need to feel loved. When one of these becomes lacking, the same crazy cycle begins. Most of the book is focused on how the parent can address their role in loving their children through the acronym GUIDES. They are the adult in the relationship, so much of the responsibility lies within the parent to correct a crazy cycle situation.
What I liked:
My favorite chapters were the 'pink and blue glasses' of parenting towards the end and the discipline chapter. I felt enlightened by how parenting can look so different between raising men and raising ladies. While I currently only have daughters, I found the insight into a mother/son relationship very helpful even as I interact with my nephew. I also loved getting ideas on how to encourage my husband to have a loving relationship with my daughters- and how he can help show them what a Godly man looks and acts like. The discipline chapter was helpful in that it reminded me of so many great foundations in parenting.
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