From Publishers Weekly
Parenting and relationship expert Coleman points out that one can be a devoted parent and still have things run amok. Parents who have made mistakes and those who haven't can both be involved in a hurtful relationship with an older child; Coleman's focus is on helping the parent cope and carry on. In individual chapters, he explores the many reasons why a relationship can falter, examining how divorce, mismatches in child/parent personalities and the demands of a competitive society can adversely affect the child/parent relationship. Using case studies from his psychology practice as well as his own experiences as a divorced father who once faced a difficult time with his eldest daughter, Coleman provides strategies for managing the guilt and regret that can arise in parents as children grow into teens and young adults. He advises parents to take responsibility for their past actions, to make amends, to forgive both themselves and their children, and to move guilt and shame to the background and gratitude to the foreground. By following these "essential principles," Coleman claims, emotionally wounded parents will begin to overcome the pain of relationships gone awry and move on to a more hopeful future. Coleman's personable writing style makes this an engaging read despite the serious subject matter.
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Review
“A wise and helpful book.” (Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., Director, Stanford Forgiveness Projects and author of Forgive for Good)
“Joshua Coleman’s book is a gift, offering extraordinary wisdom coupled with practical advice.” (Steven Mintz, Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences and author of Huck's Raft: A History of American Childhood)
“An especially healing, practical resource. . .for anyone exhausted by strained, hurtful relationships with their adolescent or grown child.” (--Dr. Linda Nielsen, Professor of Adolescent Psychology & Women's Studies, Wake Forest University and author of Embracing Your Father: Building the Relationship You Always Wanted With Your Dad)
“I LOVE this book. [It] is written from such a realistic and compassionate perspective that it is heart-warming.” (Hara Estroff Marano, Editor at Large, Psychology Today; author of A Nation of Wimps)
“Exceptionally perceptive.” (--Stephanie Coontz, Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage and The Way We Never Were)
“A superb treatment...a unique and groundbreaking approach...an eyeopening read for anyone.” (Library Journal (starred review))
“Coleman’s focus is on helping the parent cope and carry on...an engaging read despite the serious subject matter.” (Publishers Weekly)
“An important book that can help parents heal.” (Baltimore Sun)
“. . .desperately needed. . . a truly great book for parents, and a great book for therapists who work with families.” (--Heather Folsom, M.D., author and adult and child psychiatrist)
“This is an incredibly insightful and sensitively written analysis of a difficult subject. . . .I have recommended it to many of my clients. . . I highly recommend it to all parents who hurt.” (--Jan Levine, Ph.D., co-author of Why Do Fools Fall in Love?)
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