Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One Author: Visit Amazon's Steven Stosny Page | Language: English | ISBN:
1600940730 | Format: EPUB
Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One Description
Review
"Clear, timely, and on the mark." --
Library Journal"This stunning book will touch men and women in powerful and different ways. A hard-nosed yet compassionate and hopeful look into the heart of toxic resentment in marriage. No married man or woman who reads this book carefully will be the same afterward." --
William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage, and director, Marriage and Family Therapy Program, University of MinnesotaAbout the Author
Steven Stosny, Ph.D., has successfully treated thousands of troubled clients over two decades as CompassionPower’s founder and director. He has appeared multiple times on the Oprah Winfrey Show.
- Paperback: 384 pages
- Publisher: Da Capo Press; 1st Da Capo Press Ed edition (January 1, 2008)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1600940730
- ISBN-13: 978-1600940736
- Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 1 inches
- Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
For me, the most helpful thing about this book was the focus on resentment. It can build over time to the point that it can be difficult to tell who is the 'abuser' and who is the 'victim.' That's why I think it's important to read the whole book and apply it all to yourself. You'll probably see yourself in both 'roles.' Yes, the book focuses differently on men vs. women. Let's face it, the culture in which most of us were raised hasn't changed all that much over the last couple of generations, in spite of what we all think. In fact, those of us whose parents split during the 'divorce generation' of the 70's & 80's may find a lot to identify with when Stosny talks about fear of abandonment and issues of trust and attachment in marital/committed relationships. The idea of getting back in touch with your own core values is the absolute key. It's a long-term process of retraining your responses, changing the way you see your partner, and most importantly, the way you see yourself. In no way does this book excuse abuse. In fact, Stosny point-blank tells the 'abuser' that the 'victim' may never forgive, and indeed doesn't owe it to the 'abuser.' If (not when - he gives no guarantees) a relationship is on the road to recovery, he covers relapses, recriminations, starting the process over, re-establishment of trust, etc., as a _minimum_ several-months-long process. As to the reviewer who was upset over the descriptions of physiological reactions, that was something that really made me feel this book was for me -- yes, I felt and feel those reactions. Nobody should expect one book to work for every relationship or individual. There are issues that are personal to me that aren't covered here, either, but there is enough there to make a start.
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