Download You Can't Make Me , Revised and Updated Edition: Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child

You Can't Make Me , Revised and Updated Edition: Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child

Author: Cynthia Tobias | Language: English | ISBN: 1578565650 | Format: EPUB

You Can't Make Me , Revised and Updated Edition: Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child Description

Review

Praise for You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded)

“I love the practical strategies and valuable insights from the hearts and lives of strong-willed kids—including Cynthia herself! You’ll definitely want to make this book part of your parenting library.”
—Dr. Kevin Leman, New York Times best-selling author of Have a New Kid by Friday

“In You Can’t Make Me, Cynthia Tobias provides help and hope for all of us with a strong-willed child of any age. Her extremely practical and time-tested tips will show you how to provide the strong-willed child love balanced with limits, relationship balanced with rules, coaching balanced with cheerleading, and discipleship balanced with discipline. This book will be worth its weight in gold to you and your strong-willed child.”
—Walt Larimore, MD, best-selling author of God’s Design for the Highly Healthy Teen and Why A.D.H.D. Doesn’t Mean Disaster

“Parenting was never designed to be easy, and parenting a strong-willed child can be daunting. Cynthia Tobias has written a book designed to encourage parents to celebrate their children—yes, even if they are strong willed! I love how she has provided tried and true strategies that will bring out the best in our children. Her inclusion of stories from parents who are ‘in the trenches’ serves to remind us that successful parenting is possible for all of us. I love Cynthia’s wisdom, but her heart for children made me love this book!”
—Janet Parshall, nationally syndicated talk-show host

“At Focus on the Family, we often hear from parents who are frustrated and burned out by their strong-willed kids. Cynthia Tobias’s book is tailor-made for them. It will help moms and dads not only address the challenges but also embrace the blessings of having a strong-willed child.”
—Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family

“You Can’t Make Me is a must-read for every parent of a strong-willed child. Cynthia Tobias is the go-to expert on this subject, and you can’t afford to miss out on her incredibly helpful guidance. This book is insightful, grounded, and immeasurably practical. Read it today and start bringing out the best in your strong-willed child!”
—Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of The Parent You Want to Be

“What a great book! So simple yet so profound. Time and time again I have recommended this book to teachers and parents. Growing up a strong-willed child and having one, I know firsthand how valuable the tools and ideas are in this book. Every parent and teacher should read this!”
—Mary Rice Hopkins, popular family/children’s recording artist

About the Author

Cynthia Tobias received her master’s degree from Seattle Pacifi c University. Her successful background includes twenty-five years of private practice, eight years of teaching high school, and six years in law enforcement. The best-selling author of eight books, she is the busy mother of twin college-age sons. Cynthia and her husband live in the Seattle area.

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Product Details
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Reviews

Paperback: 192 pages
Publisher: WaterBrook Press; Rev Upd edition (September 18, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1578565650
ISBN-13: 978-1578565658
Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Overall I really liked this book. However, there is one key element I believe is missing, which I will come back to later.

The purpose for this book is to help parents learn to raise their strong-willed children. One thing I got out of this book, which I had not at all expected, was the understanding and realization that I myself was a "strong-willed child" and am still quite the strong-willed person. I'd never really recognized that about myself, because I've always been a generally compliant and submissive person, especially as a child, but this book showed me that being strong-willed is not necessarily about the outward behavior or a pattern of outward defiance. The more I read this book, the more I realized I was reading about myself.

Another thing I found in this book was that nearly all of the suggested parenting strategies are strategies I've already adopted and strive to keep, simply because I try to treat my children the way I myself would like to be treated. It's when I stray from those ideas (usually after being surrounded by ideas in the opposite direction) that my household becomes the most chaotic. One of the things about a SWC (strong-willed child) is that often, punishment backfires and results in a battle of wills. I know this is true for myself-if you try punishment to motivate me, my automatic response is to prove your punishment is not going to work, and as the author states several times, "There is nothing I have to do, except die, which I'm willing to do." I've found this to also be true for my children. I realized a long time ago that taking a mostly non-punitive stance in parenting tended to result in my daughters being far more compliant. It's not about "giving in" or being "permissive", it's about being more creative than punishment.

I've read a lot of parenting books. A lot. I have donated them ALL because, even though they may have had a couple gems of advice, they were mostly inapplicable. It seems like they fell into the categories of being 1)written by someone who didn't have kids with strong wills or didn't remember what it was like when their strong willed kids were young 2) full of super-specific suggestions that worked for their children, as if my kids are exactly the same 3) encourage either an extremely sympathetic and permissive parenting style or a very rigid and authoritative parenting style and (my personal pet peeve) 4) parenting books which are great at describing the problem/issue/behavior needing correction, but lacking any substantial suggestions for resolution. It makes me think: thanks for getting my interest by perfectly describing the personality/circumstance/situation/behavior I'm dealing with and wasting my time by not having any wisdom to share on the matter! (I often wonder if those authors wrote an entire book just to vent, which would be reasonable given the stresses of parenting, but then, please refrain from marketing the book as a useful resources to others.)

You Can't Make Me [But I Can Be Persuaded] by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias is not like any other parenting book I've ever read. I think the main difference is that the author isn't writing based only on personal experience and/or a college education or counseling career. Tobias has literally spoken to thousands of strong willed children (hereafter referred to as SWC) of varying ages and backgrounds. In essence, this book is like a compilation of the useful tips you can find scattered throughout many other bestselling parenting books.

I absolutely love that the tone of this book is positive and encouraging rather than critical.

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